Joy is in our Hearts

God is always amazing, and sometimes even amusing.

One September morning in 2009, I prayed a simple prayer for joy in my heart.

As days passed and routines continued as usual, that prayer for joy slipped into the quietness of my soul.

The calendar turned to November, a month that, for me, represents a myriad of emotions. A baby miscarried, a marriage renewed, a celebration of thanksgiving. November brings reflection of where I've been and contemplation of where I'm going. It's a month that, for me, is about endings and beginnings. This year was no different.

One November morning as I soundly rested in my bed next to my favorite person, I was awakened by my God. His voice was clear and majestic, and there was no room for doubt about who was speaking to me.

"There is a little girl that belongs with you. She is waiting for you. Remember Faith (*Faith is the baby we miscarried)? She is with Me, but this little girl belongs with you; and you will call her Joy."

At that very instant, joy filled my heart as tears of joy filled my eyes. I do not yet know who she is, but I love her with the same indescribable passion I have loved my other 6 children before I knew them. Our five children here with us, our wee little Faith in Heaven, and now our sweet Joy who awaits our arrival into her life have each opened my eyes to a new, fascinating, spectacular journey of life and a deeper understanding of love.

I have wept with sorrow for my Joy and where she is now...with no mommy to make her feel loved and no daddy to make her feel safe.

I have rejoiced for my Joy who will one day be wrapped in our love and safe in our home. May God protect her and care for her until then.

I smile at how surprisingly God sometimes answers our prayers. He is unpredictable. His answers come in unexpected and outrageous ways.

It's an amazing place to be.